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Smallville
Episode 1.07: "Craving"
Air Date: November 27, 2001
Written by: Michael Green
Directed by: Philip Sgriccia
Guest Stars: Amy Adams (Jodi)
This week, avid Smallville fans were treated to an evening of "firsts". This is the first episode in recent memory wherein not a single person died. Yay. Ergo, this is the first episode where the Freak o' the Week not only lives, but actually ends up getting treatment for her condition. "Craving", or as I like to call it, "Attack of the Flesh Eating Wallflower", earns bonus points right there.
Let me break this down for you so that the uninitiated can catch up. This was as straightforward as it can get. Play along and fill in the blanks with me. [insert name of loser high school student] is exposed to Kryptonite and becomes a [insert wacky mutation]. [Blank] then gets revenge on those that don't appreciate him/her. Eventually, [Blank] encounters Clark when exposed to Kryptonite radiation and proceeds to kick his ass.
In this case the loser is named Jodi, and she doesn't actually kill anyone, unless you count wildlife, which I don't. You see, Jodi is overweight. She's probably done every crazy diet known to mankind. She even takes her shoes off before her nightly weigh in. That all changes when she eats some Kryptonite enriched vegetables from her father's greenhouse.
Kryptonite just rocks. It is THE multipurpose mineral. Who cares if you end up molting or unhinging your jaw and sucking in cellulite from your friends? You're thin and acne free. I know I'd pay top dollar for that. Smallville is a great place to live. Sure, it's got a high school mortality rate that rivals even Sunnydale High, but the people there sure are pretty.
When it's all said and done, the real good stuff was in the secondary and tertiary plots. After a routine physical, Lex finds out he's got an abnormally high white cell count. This prompts Mr. L to look into the aftereffects of the meteor shower. He even goes so far as to talk to Chloe about the Wall of Weird. By episode's end, a local crackpot scientist is blackmailed into working exclusively for Lex. The writers really know how a man like Lex Luthor operates. If the nice guy routine doesn't work, he just applies a firm grip to their nether regions.
Moving right along, we have Lana. No stalkers unless you count Clark, and you should. Anyone who keeps their telescope trained on a girl's front porch is definitely attached in ways not unlike a lamprey. On top of all the other stuff going on in "Craving", it just happens to be Lana's birthday. The annual Lang Birthday Bash is in full force, and Clark gets tagged to help out. Fortunately for Clark, and the viewing public, Whitney gets called away by a talent scout and can't make the party, forcing Clark to step in and play the field. I knew things were going to go downhill as soon as Clark promised to show up to her party. After he screwed up their non-date back in "Cool", I knew this kind of thing was going to set the stage for things to come. I was right. Clark ends up saving a lust-struck Pete from Jodi's Imhotep-like lips. (That's a Mummy reference, just so you know.)
The good thing is, Clark doesn't screw this one up entirely. Sure he misses the party, but the present he gives Lana more than makes up for any and all past failures. Predictable plot and tired formula detract from a pretty snazzy set of subplots. I give "Craving":
Episode Rating: 7 out of 10
Steven "drenball" Dougherty doesn't like his bathroom scale. Why? It's a dirty liar.
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