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"Where have I seen these markings before? On Cavari... yes. No, no... not Cavari it must have been... " - Noranti
"D - we may have to set granny in a home." - Crichton
"I think we should burn her." - D'Argo
"You burn your old folks?" - Crichton
"No. It just sounded like a good idea." - D'Argo
Episode 4.04, "Lava's a Many Splendored Thing"
Written by Michael Miller
Directed by Michael Pattinson
Air Date: 6.28.02
Make no mistake about it - "Lava's a Many Splendored Thing" is a total fluff episode. Let's face it, after a string of pretty dramatic episodes dating all the way back to season three, we were overdue some filler. But there is good news - filler don't get much better than this.
Michael Miller, who is officially listed as script editor for the first three episodes of season four, has obviously done his fair share of uncredited writing and/or re-writing on Farscape. Either that, or he possesses the uncanny gift of stepping right in and completely nailing it on the first try. While the story itself is pretty ordinary, this is one of the best scripted episodes in a long time. Did I mention how hysterical it was? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. First a little synopsis.
Picking up from "What Was Lost, Part 2: Resurrection," the crew is still stuck in D'Argo's ship towing around Crichton's module while waiting to hear from Moya & Pilot. But it's been three solar days since any of them have eaten. Add to the mix the cramped quarters and Rygel's incessant farting and you've got one unhappy family. In an effort to satiate everyone's hunger at least, Noranti spits up some "restoratives" and dupes the crew into eating them. Well, it works. Sort of. Within minutes, the crew is forced to land on the nearest piece of rock available as each of them takes turns projectile vomiting. Except Sikozu & Rygel. She was smart enough not to eat the damn things, and Rygel's reaction to consuming his and Sikozu's portions is that he needs to take an emergency shlock. (i.e. drop some kids off by the pool) That's right. Before the cold open's even done, we've got vomiting and dumping. Ah... Farscape at it's best.
Except, greedy as he is, Rygel is distracted from the task at hand when he sees some crates filled with valuables in one of the caves. Before you know it, he's sprung a booby trap, and he, John, Noranti, and D'Argo are all stuck inside the cave, with Sikozu and Chiana left outside. Well, you'd think a planet overrun with volcanic activity and piping hot lava would be totally barren (come to think of it, you'd also think it wouldn't have a breathable atmosphere...) but it's not. Tarkan Freedom Fighters (really swell guys according to Granny) have a base of operations there. Well, they keep random valuables there anyway. I guess a bank would be out of the question. In any case, the rest of the episode breaks down into a cat & mouse game between some would-be robbers and our heroes who simply want to leave. Of course, the aforementioned robbers would never just let our heroes go - the show would be over before the second commercial break. Not to mention we'd miss out on a whole lot of good stuff.
As much as I'm largely indifferent to the character of Noranti, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when she seduced the two henchmen with a combination of hallucinatory dust and belly dancing. John and D'Argo's reactions were classic. Speaking of John and D'Argo, I think this is the best we've seen them interact since "Revenging Angel." John giving D'Argo the low-down on thermal and kinetic energy was great stuff. Meanwhile, back up on the surface, we got treated to some great Sikozu/Chiana stuff as well. Chiana realized operating D'Argo's ship was in fact possible. They just needed to get their hands a little dirty... And when the episode finally got serious, it had some legitimately tense moments. While I'm not sure the physics behind those shield belts made any kind of consistent sense (thermal energy can penetrate them, but not pulse blasts?), the bit at the end with John using the shield to protect himself in the lava looked pretty cool, and set up a pretty nice showdown with this week's bad guy, Raa' Keel. Too bad we probably won't be seeing him again, 'cause he had some potential. Looked a little like a human/insect hybrid. You can never have enough of those.
All in all, this episode was a stand-alone. But the last minute does set up what should be a killer episode next time. Pilot has finally responded, and the crew can go back to Moya now. One would think we may actually get some long-awaited answers to the lingering season four questions about what happened between "Dog With Two Bones" and "Crichton Kicks." But more importantly, the acting in that final minute was really top-notch. Very little dialogue was spoken, but the crew's facial expressions at hearing the good news spoke volumes.
So while it was thoroughly amusing, I can't be too liberal with the high marks. I reserve those for the episodes with more emotional and dramatic weight to them. But hey, this one did make me laugh really hard.
Oh, I almost forgot - Spoiler Warning -
In the end, Rygel finally got to take his dump.
Episode Rating: 7 out of 10.
Some Quotes:
Crichton - "Uh-oh. More bad news." (as lava levels are rising)
D'Argo - "Same dren - different planet."
Crichton - "This is unbelievable. Can't cook, won't bathe, and now she's narcoleptic. She's a triple threat!" (as Granny passes out)
Crichton - "Damn this has gotta be bad for the sperm count... " (while wading through lava)
Crichton - "Can I get a Hell yeah!" (pulling Rygel out of the lava)
Tarkan Freedom Fighter - "You're free to go... (Rygel farts) ...as long as you take him with you..."
And In Two Weeks, Episode 4.05, "Promises" (WARNING SPOILERS)
Crichton is forced to play nice with the back-from-the-dead Scorpius after he proves to be the only one who can save an ailing Aeryn, who has a hard time coming clean about her pregnancy. Meanwhile, a new nemesis takes aim at the Moya crew for harboring a wanted assassin; and a mole within Peacekeeper ranks ruins Braca's latest plot. (END SPOILERS)
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