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"We’re in the hands of fate now... we have to trust in that... fly safe... Goodbye, John Crichton." – Aeryn Sun
Episode 3.22, "Dog With Two Bones"
Written by David Kemper
Directed by Andrew Prowse
Air Date: 04.26.02
As this is an advance review, I wouldn't advise reading ahead unless you've either seen this episode or don't mind spoilers... big ones.
I honestly don’t even know where to start. This is without a doubt the most complex review I’ve ever had to write. While the entire episode inherently feels a bit anticlimactic after last week’s classic, and admittedly misfires on some levels, there is no disputing the fact that this is the most emotional, and depressing, episode of Farscape ever.
Following the aftermath of the Command Carrier’s destruction, the crew of Moya is preparing to leave Talyn’s remains in a sacred resting place for leviathans. They are also preparing to go their separate ways, much to the dismay of Crichton. Unfortunately, there is an unnecessary side-plot about a rogue leviathan not wanting Talyn to be buried there. Now I know convention states that you need the side-story, but Farscape is nothing if not unconventional, and the episode would have been better served without it. So I’m pretty much gonna ignore it here.
The last scene of "Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing" was John and Aeryn, sitting in command, having no idea what to say to one another. This theme, not surprisingly, dominates the episode. We open inside John’s imagination: Aeryn trying out wedding dresses in front of Crichton, back on Earth. Throughout the episode, we continually drift back and forth between the real world and Crichton’s visions of what might be. While he sees many happy moments, he also sees difficulties. Aeryn is not exactly the ‘Betty Crocker’ type, and domestic life on Earth with John will leave her restless. John’s fears are confirmed when an old, mysterious woman (who nobody seems to know) lets him see ‘the truth.’ The truth, as it turns out, is catastrophic. In John’s fantasy scenario, he can go home and keep all his friends. But in a scene that initially recalls "Won’t Get Fooled Again", we see the entire Moya crew at his wedding reception, as Jack Crichton makes a toast to his son and new daughter. The dream quickly turns into a nightmare, however, as Peacekeepers storm in, killing everybody in moments. Holding his dead Aeryn in his arms, he hears footsteps approaching. Looking up, he sees Scorpius who simply asks, "John... what did you expect?"
Hence the title, "Dog with two bones." John comes to the realization that he can never merge his two worlds. The old woman tells him that he must choose one. The problem, John explains, is that he can’t go home, and his friends are leaving. Like the dog in the parable, he is left with nothing.
The (first) moment of true despair comes when the rogue leviathan is defeated, and Rygel exclaims, "Do you know what this means? It means we’re done! Talyn rests where he belongs, Scorpius has no ship, we’re all unhurt, healthy, and no one’s trying to kill us! It means finally - we can go where we want! We can go home!"
While Rygel is upbeat, John and Aeryn realize that their lives are about to change dramatically, and not necessarily for the better.
Now we’ve had some amazing John/Aeryn moments in the past. "The Maltese Crichton", "Icarus Abides", and "Fractures" certainly come to mind. What we get here easily rivals these. Given his lack of options, John decides to go with Aeryn on her prowler, wherever she goes. But she tells him it’s too late. That she can’t possibly see him die again. That just seeing him still alive is too weird. He gets her to admit that she still loves "John Crichton", at least in theory. He kisses her and asks what he tastes like. "Yesterday", she says. In turn she asks if he loves Aeryn Sun. "Beyond hope", he replies. If that’s true she says, then he won’t ask her to stay, and he won’t ask her to say goodbye, either. Now, I’m certainly not doing this exchange justice. It went on for about five or six minutes. But watching it, you just know Crichton is fighting a losing battle.
So we fast forward to John, alone in Farscape 1. In a curiously effective technique, we see D’Argo, Chiana, and Rygel bid farewell to Crichton, all in their Earth wedding reception regalia.
"Anything positive I do with the rest of my life, will be because of you. Take care my friend." – D’Argo
"You better not forget me, you better not ever forget that I love you." – Chiana
"Of all the lesser species, I admit I’ve grown to like yours the best." – Rygel
Then we see Aeryn’s prowler mere meters away.
"We’re in the hands of fate now... we have to trust in that... fly safe... Goodbye, John Crichton."
And her image dissolves as John simples stares straight ahead. And just when you think his despair couldn’t get any worse, it does. The old mystic gives him one final truth, and it’s that Aeryn is pregnant. Knowing that it is obviously the other Crichton’s, (in effect, his) he implores Pilot that they go looking for her. With only Jool and the mysterious woman on board (who turns out to be somebody they saved after the carrier explosion), Pilot reluctantly agrees, but not before a wormhole opens up out of nowhere, taking Moya to who knows where, and closing before John can even believe what he’s seeing.
Crichton is left behind in his module, utterly alone.
No friends, no fuel, no conceivable hope of rescue.
"You have got to be kidding me... "
Now if that isn’t the very definition of cliffhanger, I just don’t know what is. There is so much to speculate on... that I just can’t do it here. This review’s already running long. The questions left unanswered by this episode will be torturing Scapers for the next six weeks until the season four premiere. I’ll touch on these more fully in my season three summary, coming soon.
But for now, I think it’s just necessary to take a step back and let it all soak in. While I already mentioned that the episode has some minor flaws, I can’t help but overlook them in the grand scheme of things. D’Argo has left to find the man who framed him for his wife’s murder all those years ago. Chiana has left to find her brother. Rygel has left to recapture his crown. Aeryn is essentially running away from John, who is now completely stranded as Moya was inexplicably sucked into a wormhole.
You take all those things, and the incredible amount of emotion and sentimentality of this episode, mixed with David Kemper’s always amazing subtle humor and perfect dialogue, and numerical ratings lose their meaning.
-- Ultra Magnus is simply stunned.
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