TNMC
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"Aeryn... don't come." -- Crichton
"No... we started this together Crichton, and that's how we'll end it." - Aeryn
Episode 3.19 - "I-Yensch, You-Yensch"
Written by Matt Ford
Directed by Peter Andrikidis
Air Date: 04.05.02
As this is an advance review, I wouldn't advise reading ahead unless you've either seen this episode or don't mind spoilers.
Well, it's finally over. The longing, the anguish, the suffering, the shakes... all over. The great Farscape drought of '01-'02 is at its end, and that means it's time to be reminded once again that Farscape is indeed one of the best damn shows on television.
Having said that, I really, really wish I could say I totally loved "I-Yensch, You-Yensch", but the truth is, I'd be lying. In almost every way, I found this to be a sub-par episode. Annoying villains, awkward dialogue, and relatively little Crichton are some of the more noticeable problems.
Okay, first things first - the last time we saw new 'scape, it was eight months ago in Fractures. We were left with that doozy of a cliffhanger as Crichton (having been inspired and motivated by his dead counterpart) told the crew he was going to go to the command carrier and stop Scorpius from ever obtaining the wormhole technology.
So we open up this time with Rygel and D'Argo attempting to negotiate with Scorpius in some restaurant on what seems to be a real dump of a planet. Now already I'm a little unsettled. If you recall, the last time anybody actually interacted with Scorpius (for real - i.e. Losing Time, Incubator don't count) was way back in 3.01, "Season of Death." So how exactly did they go about setting up this little meeting? I suppose they sent out a message in all directions hoping it would find him? That could possibly explain why other peacekeepers show up later on, seemingly unbeknownst to Scorpy. It's not exactly an important plot point, but it should have been addressed, if only with a sentence or two.
In any case, the negotiations go from bad to worse when two human-sized smurfs (for lack of a better description) enter with guns raised, demanding money, valuables, etc. I guess the major problem I had with this episode is that this ends up being the main thrust of the story. Rygel puts two and two together and figures out that the crooks are actually there to burn the place down (part of an insurance scam cooked up by the, uh, cook). Rygel then convinces them that they'd be better off holding the peacekeepers for ransom. These smurf dudes are real idiots (not sure if I mentioned that) so they go for it. Of course, in no time, these stooges are manipulated by Scorpius into ransoming Rygel instead. All the while, the aforementioned cook and his girlfriend/waitress are given an inexplicably large amount of screen time and dialogue. The effort by Matt Ford to make these characters interesting is admirable, but ultimately you just have to ask, "why?" It's impossible in the time allotted to actually care about these people, so we're certainly not affected one way or the other when one bites it later on.
There is also the B-story, which concerns the remaining crew members aboard Moya and what to do about Talyn, who is out of control. After defending the crew from an incoming PK prowler and marauder, Talyn destroys a nearby medical ship with 600 passengers. If that weren't bad enough, he even opens fire on Moya shortly after.
All involved come to the reluctant decision that Talyn must be shut down, or simply "killed" if you don't like euphemisms. Crais says he can be brought back - given a second chance essentially - but he won't be the same Talyn. Now, I do acknowledge that Talyn is a sentient being, but this all seems a little melodramatic for my taste. Like the A-story, this just seemed to be drawn out longer than it should have been.
Which is why, ultimately, the entire episode just seems unfulfilling on its own. Not nearly enough happens here to sate eight months worth of 'scape withdrawal. I can say, though, with the luxury of having seen the final three episodes of the season, that this episode does lay the necessary groundwork for things to come. In the end, a deal is struck, and Crichton and Co. will board Scorpy's command carrier under their own free will, so that John can ostensibly help Scorpy with the research, and the others will be granted amnesty in return. So I guess you could liken it to The Phantom Menace - you need it, but it's not where the good stuff's at.
Other noteworthy happenings: Naj Gil, the Scarran from "Fractures" returns, sort of. Chiana's visions, meanwhile, are occurring with more regularity, and one of them even saves a crewmember's life. In the restaurant, the bracelets that utilize synchronous nerve impulses that D'Argo and Bracca wear provide some excellent comic relief. Hey, nothing's better than one guy getting kicked in the sack, and two guys going down from it. And for the shippers there's still plenty of John/Aeryn awkwardness to go around. But I gotta tell you, those smurf guys were easily the most annoying combo since the idiot henchmen of Highlander II. While the episode had some redeeming qualities, the re-watchability of it is not high largely because of those two. I also have to seriously question Crichton's suggestion of starbursting away when the PK's showed up. Leaving his two friends behind to be captured is completely out of character for him.
Oh well. It's just unfortunate this is the first episode we're treated to in quite some time, but fear not - the final three are every bit as amazing as you've heard, and probably better. See you then -
Episode Rating: 6 out of 10
With Farscape back on, Ultra Magnus once again has a reason to get up in the morning.
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