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Notebook Friday
The last two weeks of vacation were great. I played a lot of Playstation 2, watched a ton of DVDs and caught a couple of flicks, nothing too spectacular. I also read a few scripts. You can expect one or two reviews from myself in the upcoming weeks. Today, we have my editor John Shea's two cents on The Notebook screenplay. This project is moving forward at New Line with Nick Cassavetes (John Q.) attached to direct.
The Notebook script review
"Howdy folks, I'm sitting on a porch, overlooking Upper Saranac Lake in the Adirondacks, thoroughly relaxed. But your friendly neighborhood webmaster never leaves the site totally behind, so I'm tapping out a review of the script for The Notebook by Jim Sheridan. The script is dated November 29, 1999, so it is a bit old. I expect some changes were made prior to the start of filming. As a result, this review shouldn't be taken as definitive. It's possible that the shooting script looks far different from this copy.
The film opens in a nursing home. An older woman, Allie, is being watched over by an older man, Duke. Both are residents of the home. Allie is suffering from Alzheimers. She has lost most of her mind, barely able to remember her life or who she is. Duke sits with her, reading from a notebook in which Allie had once recorded the major events in her relationship with the love of her life. Duke is that man and he works feverishly, trying to get her to remember so that he can just say goodbye.
Much of the movie is spent in flashback as Duke recounts their earlier romance. The two fell madly in love as teenagers but were quickly separated when Duke, then known as Noah, was drafted and went to fight in World War II. When he is reported as MIA, she joins up as a nurse to try and find him. She doesn't succeed but meets another young man, Lon, along the way. They have a long romance and he eventually proposes to her. Convinced that Noah is dead, she accepts. Allie's mother is delighted. While Noah was at best middle class, Lon is a successful young lawyer from a wealthy family. Naturally, Noah is alive and eventually makes his way home. Now Allie must choose between the two men.
The script is a bit strange in that it seems to want Duke's identity to be a mystery. It drops little hints along the way to make it seem as if Duke is actually Lon. But right off the bat it makes it clear that Duke is Noah. It's almost as if it was made into a mystery later but earlier descriptions were left intact. The effect is to create a muddled storyline. I actually like the mystery concept. It helps accent the Alzheimers aspect of the story, which is easily its most touching. The idea of a life of love forgotten, torn away by a disease, is tragic. The best parts of the script are those in the present when we see Duke's noble fight to bring his love's memory back just enough for a goodbye.
What doesn't work are the flashback sections, which as I mentioned, make up the bulk of the script. This section is a haven for thinly written, cliched characters. You've got the wicked mother who keeps her daughter away from the man she loves so she'll marry the rich lawyer. You've got two suitors, one noble but poor, the other rich and jealous. Then there is Allie, who everyone adores because she's beautiful and artistic. Of course the only way we know she's an artist is that every character mentions it. Nothing about her personality suggests it. Even the plotting in this section lacks originality. There is an overwhelming sense of familiarity with this script. At no point did I feel that the next step of the story wasn't immediately obvious. Needless to say, that doesn't make for the most riveting read.
As written, it will be very difficult to film this so that it won't be shamelessly sappy. Obviously, this is a romance, so the point is to tug at the heartstrings. However this story frequently comes off as needlessly manipulative, a paint by numbers romance story. I'd like to see the main characters of young Allie, Noah and Lon better developed. Mostly these characters are defined by the words of others rather than through their own actions. Despite being a major element of the love triangle, we barely meet Lon. A better written Lon would make Allie's decision seem harder and less predictable. As it is, Lon's jealousy feels more like an issue of possession rather than the possibility of love lost. Allie gives little reason to believe she's the artist everyone claims. If we knew her better it would be understandable why these two men would go to great lengths for her. The entire subplot involving Allie's mother could be easily dropped to make room for this much needed character development.
The Notebook, as scripted, is an uneven story with undistinguished characters. I suspect even serious fans of romance films will have a hard time loving it. That's not to say this script is without potential. Better character development could make massive improvements. That would allow the Alzheimers element of the story to elevate this script above the generic and possibly into something special. As I said before, this script is fairly old, so rewrites could have occurred by now. If they did occur there could be hope for this project. If not then you can expect something generic and uninspired."
(Review submitted by John Shea)
Stay tuned...
That's all folks...
Jean-François Allaire (aka DeadPool)
Questions, comments, praise etc. Email me at deadpool@tnmc.org
Jean-François Allaire is TNMC's first columnist. At only 24 years old he has become a respected entertainment journalist, with his columns appearing in Corona's Coming Attractions and Scr(i)pt magazine. He also writes a monthly column in Screenwriters Monthly entitled 'The Last Word.' Hailing from Montreal this young writer is determined to dig up all the details on the movies before they hit your local theater. If you're part of a movie production then you really need to be talking to him.
