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Play Ball

Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd... Yes, Baseball opening day is here. Unfortunately my Expos are starting the season on the road. I'll go see them on Friday. In the meantime, we are finishing up the 15 Days of Script Reviews with a WORLD EXCLUSIVE SCRIPT REVIEWS WEEK. Today, in honor of Major League Baseball, we have a review of Hardball. Our resident baseball freak Tyler Durden sheds lights on the screenplay to the Keanu Reeves drama. Tomorrow, Agent Payne will give his two cents on We Were Soldiers Once... and Young.

BALL FOUR

"If there is one thing I know it is baseball. The one thing I know better than baseball is movies about baseball. As I learned from the manager in Bull Durham... baseball is a simple game... you hit the ball, you catch the ball and you throw the ball. Other than the many sequels to Major League and possibly For the Love of the Game... I have never seen a truly bad baseball movie. I own them all people and I know them all. From Field of Dreams to Little Big League to... I could go on forever. My latest opus is a review of the script Hardball by Lewis Collick, based on the book by Daniel Coyle. So lets get the game started.

The Skinny -

Keanu Reeves

Hardball is about down on his luck Conor O'Neill (Keanu Reeves). He is a 20/30 something Irish male who lives in Chicago in the late-90s and is a degenerate gambler. After getting down almost $12 thousand dollars combined to two bookies, Conor is forced to coach a little league team from the projects by his successful friend. As long as he coaches, he will get $500 a week. Stuck with 9 players and threatened to be dropped from the league, Conor is forced to approach parents and a beautiful teacher (Diane Lane) to get more players. In the beginning the foul-mouthed kids are worse then the Bad News Bears, but as the movie progresses they start to win games . As the team learns some important life lessons, Conor also deals with his gambling and life problems. The team then suffers a tragedy (won't say what exactly) and the movie ends with Conor leading the team into the league championship game against their hated rivals.

The Script -

Diane Lane

The first thing I noticed about this script is that it had two revisions by two different writers. I would mention their names, but there are a lot of problems with this script. It took forever to read through it and if put on film, would be close to 3 hours long. One thing immediately jumped out once I was finished. This movie just seemed like a mix of Dangerous Minds and The Mighty Ducks brought together on a baseball field in the heart of the Chicago projects. I am not sure if this was the author's intention, but that is how the screenplay read.

Deadpool, Hollyfeld and I are always complaining about scripts and the quality of them. Maybe we should all be happy about the upcoming strike because maybe it will eliminate pieces of garbage produced by guys like Carl Franklin, John Gatins and Lewis Collick. Sorry, I couldn't resist mentioning them by name. I could tell right away that none of these guys have much familiarity with baseball. Maybe they saw The Sandlot because the inter-city kids on this team act like them at times. Beyond that this movie is a disaster waiting to be made.

I had a hard time figuring out how Conor manages to bring the team together. He is a degenerate gambler and drunk. There is very little to like about him and they do a horrible job showing how he evolves into a better man. His relationship with the parents or the teacher should have been developed more. The writers spent too much time talking about Conor's gambling problem. The movie also tries too hard to be funny, in very dark ways. This movie would have to be rated PG-13 to R because of the tempered violence and language. I know the kids may use bad language, but to use the language and words like bitch and motherfucker as bonding points seemed a bit unreal. While I liked the attempt to show the fear and poor lifestyle of the kids, they did not go far enough. This part of the film should have been more direct and brutal and astonishing. Why bring it up if you don't really want to send a message to middle class America. George W. Bush should do more about helping inner city kids out of their situations than building a tee ball park in the White House backyard.

The best parts of the film really take place during the little league games and a visit to Wrigley Field. Sammy Sosa is written in to make a cameo in this film. And Wrigley Field is a true sight to see, but I found it to be another canned distraction since Sammy does nothing to really inspire the kids. No pep talk, no equipment or money donation.... nothing. Sammy and the Cubs would have to donate thousands if this movie was ever made just to save face. While that could be a good thing, it shouldn't be the message. The final straw for me is when the film ends before the final game with the big rival begins. Conor gets the girl but what about the kids? What a shame. No cracker jacks for these writers.

Current Affairs -

I looked for information on this film everywhere and couldn't find anything on it. Maybe Deadpool can update you readers about the true status of this film. It needs some more work and definitely needs to be cut in terms of time. I would really like to see someone like Kevin Costner, Barry Levinson or the long lost Phil Alden Robinson involved with this film. The person has to know something about baseball and little league to make this film work. They also have to be sensitive to the inner city problems and racial relations. I really like the hidden potential for this film. There is a basic idea there, but this script is awful. That is my take people. And for the record, the best baseball video game ever made was Bases Loaded on the original Nintendo followed by Triple Play 99 on Playstation. And if any readers are ever interested in hearing my takes on baseball or recommendations for baseball related films... drop me a line. Take your base."

Review submitted by Tyler "Crash" Durden

Note from DP: Hardball has been in post-production for a while. The film has already being rated R by the MPAA. There was a test-screening of the film in LA recently. There hasn't been any review of it online yet...

Stay tuned...

That's all folks...

Jean-François Allaire (aka DeadPool)

Questions, comments, praise etc. Email me at deadpool@tnmc.org

SEND ME A SCOOP!!

Jean-François Allaire is TNMC's first columnist. At only 24 years old he has become a respected entertainment journalist, with his columns appearing in Corona's Coming Attractions and Scr(i)pt magazine. He also writes a monthly column in Screenwriters Monthly entitled 'The Last Word.' Hailing from Montreal this young writer is determined to dig up all the details on the movies before they hit your local theater. If you're part of a movie production then you really need to be talking to him.