Charlie's Angels (2000)

Favorite Lines from the Audience

"George McFly!"

Too many to mention regarding 'Coconut Oil.'

"It's the Pumpkin!"

Favorite Lines from the Movie

"This is a panic button. Just push it if you have any emergencies."

"Damn you Salazar!"

Reviews

Dogburt

Back in the day when the TNMC club was nothing more than a bunch of boys and girls who had the propensity to pick bad movies one day a week... wait, has that really changed? Anyway, back in the day we lived for movies like this, and then somewhere along the way we got all 'professional' and started to view academy-award-caliber FILMS instead of good old fashioned high energy FLICKS. Well, it's good to know that some things are still sacred, and we still have beauties like Charlie’s Angels to bow down to. Let’s look at some of the keys to this horrendously amazing movie.

Cameron Diaz- Playing Natalie, my goodness, this girl came straight out of a B-flick. If there was any wonder why young boys enjoy wearing Spider-Man Underoos, well, this is one of them. It is the hope that they will one day find their way onto Cameron Diaz’s dancing posterior. Nothing sets the mood of this film, er, excuse me, flick, better than this early scene. It is mesmerizing. It is enchanting. It begs for "Baby Got Back." What surprised me most in this movie about Diaz was that, along side Lucy Liu, she was quite credible in her action scenes. She's tall enough and athletic enough to pull it off, and despite the obvious rip-off comparisons to The Matrix, I ask you... who is more credible in those fight scenes... Keanu or Cameron? Think about it.

Drew Barrymore- Starring as Dylan, the tough, independent angel, she's got that bad girl vibe going for her and sometimes pulls it off pretty well here. Other times it looks forced. Unfortunately she is the most unrealistic fighter I have ever seen, as her wire-fu scenes look like she's somehow using her secret powers to levitate and hang in the air and then move her feet in the general direction of the bad guy. She's got the helpless facial expression down pretty well though, and she definitely has appeal. Speaking of appeal, holy Hills of Bethar, what marvelous tracts of land. There, I said it.

Lucy Liu- Stepping in as Alex, I must admit she was my favorite. While Barrymore can play the bad girl, Liu plays the S&M mistress to most men’s delight with wicked panache. Unfortunately she was paired up with Joey from friends so I have to question her taste in men. Her first on-screen appearance was priceless- in removing a helmet in slow motion, she flips her long dark hair around and gives this oh so seductive look- both hysterical and hypnotizing at the same time. But bottom line was that she was the most credible amongst all with her fighting ability and restrained hottitude. And oh does she kick butt.

Bill Murray- What can I say? As Bosley I loved the guy. I just wish he had been in more scenes. I’ve never wanted to be Mr. Murray more than when he came into the Angels' office for the first time and sat down and suddenly had all three girls hanging all over him. You go Bill! Murray helped keep a sense of perspective in the flick, reminding us not to take anything too seriously.

And finally... Crispin Glover. He is the silent thin man, but he will always be "I’m George! George McFly! I am your density! I mean, your destiny." He reeked of coolness and I had no idea he had moves like that. Works for me.

So how do you rate this kind of movie? Of course many will say that it's really bad. Just stupid. Hey, guess what? The actors know that too. It is supposed to be. That’s why they made it- to make fun of themselves. But you know what? Despite that, they still created an entertaining flick. I enjoyed myself. Just sit back and enjoy it; don't overanalyze. There's many reasons to like it, especially if you're a guy. And if you're a girl, you just might like it too.

And as for that, ahem... panic button, well, uh... I guess I could say that I hope it has a beeper/vibrator option in case you’re in a meeting or something... heh heh...

Charlie's Angels - maybe not brilliantly bad, but definitely beautifully bad.

Shankster

If the directors and producers meant for the film to be taken seriously as an action flick they failed miserably. If they were taking a campy look at a 1970's series that was always a little cheesy they did an excellent job.

One of the best parts of this movie were the fight scenes. These three women were totally unbelievable as Martial Arts masters, the fight scenes were done in such a way as to look cheesy and over the top. It poked fun at any movie that has incredible stunt work like the Matrix, MI:2 or a Bond flick. In most of those you know that some of the scenes can't possibly happen, but they are produced in such a manner that there is an ounce of believability and a ton of coolness. These same scenes in Charlie's Angels were just plain laughable because there really wasn't a way for there to be any amount of believability and I thought some of the effects clearly looked enhanced. I know they all were enhanced, just like you know they are all enhanced in the better action flicks, but these LOOKED enhanced. It was almost as if they were trying to poke fun at the whole action flick premise or the idea that three cupcakes could be taken seriously as action stars.

The dialog and sexual innuendo in this movie came close to rivaling Starship Troopers, but it slowed down a little bit in the middle. Most of the dialog made me laugh uncontrollably at it's basic silliness. Often the dialog was out of place with the scene and the action and that contributed to it's silliness.

Finally despite a ton of cleavage and a scene where Cameron dances in her underoos (Spider-Man to be exact) there was little true nudity. That was disappointing, we needed to see more nudity in this film. There was plenty of exploitation of the female form, but it didn't go quite far enough. We have often complained here in the TNMC offices of the lack of shower scenes and serious nudity anymore and this was just another case where a movie stayed relatively conservative.

Despite some shortcomings the movie was good and destined to become a TNMC classic. All in all a solid film worth seeing in a full theater where everyone is laughing and taking it at face value, simply a movie to have fun watching.

Batman

Dumb. Stupid. Spastic. Incoherent. Frantic. Unbelievable. Shallow. Ridiculous. These are just a few of the words that spring to mind when thinking about this movie. It's just a big idiotic voyeuristic mess of a movie. It also happens to be probably the best movie to mock with a group of friends that we've seen this year. That's what earns it four stars. If I were to rate it on the quality of film making that it represents I would give it maybe half a star.

The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog is idiotic. It horrendously under uses Bill Murray. Murray always makes me laugh regardless of what kind of cess pool of a movie he finds himself in. I'm guessing that has something to do with why the producers were so desparate to get him. Similar thinking probably lead to the hiring of a director who calls himself McG. I didn't make that up either.

At least seventeen writers worked on this script, probably many more. It shows. It feels like they were each shut in a room alone and told to write a scene without any input from the other writers what so ever. Then the various parts were stapled together and called a script. It's that disjointed a movie. I could have conjured up better ideas just scratching my ass.

I have to admit I had a good time though. I started chuckling at the first of many slow motion flips of Lucy Liu's hair. I laughed when one of the villains appears for the first time and our whole row yells out "Hello! McFly!" And when Barrymore hands a guy her "personal massager" and calls it a panic button I nearly ruptured my spleen by laughing so hard.

The only way to watch this movie is with a group of friends. This is vital to your tolerance of it. Watching it alone is pointless. You'll see more T&A by staying home and turning on Cinemax. This flick just teases on the subject. Much has been written about the magical qualities of Cameron Diaz's ass. Let's face it though, she hasn't got one. She's a lovely woman and a gifted actor but she has no ass. Didn't anyone else catch the irony in her shaking it to "Baby Got Back?" I'm still trying to figure out why she even agreed to be in this. I bet Barrymore slipped Diaz some acid and got her to sign a contract while she hallucinated about agreeing to be in a good movie.

Lanceley
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Fabio
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