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The Core (2003)
Quick history lesson for you. Five years ago, this site first appeared on the web. At the time it served one purpose: the merciless mocking of bad films. We've since broadened our approach but a movie like The Core gets me all excited because it's a chance to go back to the site's roots. With that said, let the mocking begin.
The Core is the kind of movie that leaves you asking repeatedly if it was actually meant to be this funny. Less than a minute into the film a man dies suddenly when his pacemaer quits. He promptly falls face first into a glass conference table. We are treated to the view below as his face squishes flat against the glass. Most films would have had the table shatter spectacularly but not this one. No, this one goes for the cheap comedy instead. That should tell you a lot about this particular disaster film. That's right, a disaster film. The earth's core has stopped rotating, thus destroying the electromagnetic field surrounding the planet and causing all manner of chaos. That means guys doing face plants and hilarious scenes spoofing The Birds where dead pigeons are tossed around like fruit in a Gallagher concert. It also gives us a scene where a space shuttle crash lands because of a naviational error caused by that failed EM field. To depict a shuttle crash so soon after the real thing would be really tasteless if the scene weren't so wildly improbable that it becomes funny.
The film gets off to a great start with generally goofy stuff like what I just described plus some amusing bits between scientists, federal agents and assorted government bigwigs. We get Stanley Tucci acting up a storm as a pompous scientist with a rock star prima donna attitude. We get Tchéky Karyo making the French seem cool. We get Delroy Lindo as a hermit mad scientist. These are entertaining characters that do much to keep the movie jumping.
There is a lot of science talk thrown out in this movie. You can safely ignore 99.9% of it as gibberish. Don't bother taking notes because the writers clearly didn't, ignoring their own ideas as the film progresses. The film just sort of careens from one scene to the next with little thought or plan. The big complex plot to save the earth? I had that figured out about 30 seconds after they started work on their ship. And by that I mean the backup plan that they actually use as opposed to the official plan that of course has no chance in hell at working. A blind squirrel could have spotted that coming a mile away.
This is really a comedy I think. The scope of the film is so big that it really can't ever be taken seriously. There are two ways to handle this: extreme depression (think Deep Impact) or over the top silliness. They clearly chose the latter. So intent were they on making this funny that they didn't even bother to get some decent special effects. The underground shots are so bad that audiences twenty years ago would have jeered.
Is it a good movie? Most definitely not. Would I recommend it? Yes. Gather several friends, have a few drinks and then head to the theater to see the movie. If you leave the theater without having a good time, you have only yourself to blame. You should immediately seek friends with sense of humor and try again.
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