Zombies are awesome. All they want to do is eat our brains. They're not unreasonable. I mean, they’re not going to eat our eyes.
“The Unquiet Dead”
Written by Mark Gatiss
Directed by Euros Lyn
Guest Stars: Zoe Thorne (The Gelth), Simon Callow (Charles Dickens), Eve Myles (Gwyneth), and Alan David (Gabriel Sneed).
Take two parts alien, one part zombie grandmother, add a little gaseous alien, and you’ve got a recipe for stewed bliss, my friend. Stewed MUTHAFUKIN bliss. The Doctor and Rose inadvertently travel to Victorian Wales (
I’ll wait.
Back? Okay, so now you don’t have a problem with your belief suspension system. Also, you may discover some difficulty with higher math and bowel continence. Don’t worry about it. You won’t need either of those as a burden of the state. Rose and the Doctor realize that the Gelth (or Gelf if you believe my closed captioning) are refugees of the Time War. Which seems to be the very Time War that destroyed the Doctor’s home planet not too long back. Now, at this point, the Doctor’s role in the Time War is sketchy, but it’s likely that he played a major role given the obvious guilt he’s feeling. Guilt that blinds him to the lunacy of a race of gas aliens begging for any spare corpses we have lying around. God, it has evil double cross written all over it. He discovers this too late, of course, and it costs the psychic girl her life.
Still, they both only wanted to help, so no harm done. I mean, really, she was a lower class servant girl. Hardly any damage done to the time stream at all. On the upside, Charles Dickens is feeling better than ever. Oh, did I forget to mention that Charles “C-Dog” Dickens also stars? Oh yeah. He gets drawn into this little plot and discovers new reasons to live. The Doctor’s a big fan, you see. It’s too bad Dickens’ newfound love for life won’t last. He’ll be dead within a year and won’t get to finish his last work. This makes the Doctor sad. I stifle a yawn and an erection. This is why I’m not a time traveling Sherlock Holmes with an assortment of extremely attractive platonic companions. Also, there are no unicorns.
Great episode. Well done. The next two don’t look so good. Fart jokes and all. I’d rather not sit through two separate installments, so I’ll review them back to back. See you in two.
Steven Dougherty thanks the myriad dark gods he keeps in his shoebox that they avoided the obvious fart jokes in this episode. Avoided them long enough to write them into the next two, unfortunately.
